Jul 4 2010
Star Wars Cantina HD… Diner Dash with blue milk
Have you ever wanted to run your own wretched hive of scum and villainy? Have you ever wanted to utter the words, “Hey! Your droids—we don’t serve their kind here.”? If you’re an iPhone or especially an iPad user, your dream has come true with Star Wars: Cantina HD.
Star Wars Cantina HD by THQ Wireless is a Star Wars themed Diner-Dash-style game where you play the beehive hairdo’d Nia Adea and do your best to keep the never ending rush of customers (jawas, moisture farmers… the occasional Hutt) happy. It’s all about speed, accuracy and meeting the daily quota.
As you progress through career mode, you’ll be given the opportunity to make upgrades to the cantina, bringing in more tables and customer-attracting decor.
As I write this, it occurs to me that the game is not particularly Star-Wars-like. Yes, it takes place in the Star Wars Universe and, if you like these kinds of games, it’s fun enough. But when I was running around in my backyard with my friends, beating each other up with brightly painted cardboard tubes from the cores of my Mom’s Christmas wrapping paper rolls, I was Darth Vader or Han Solo, maybe Luke Skywalker. None of us was calling dibs on getting to pretend to be the bartender. This is the kind of stuff that made Luke all whiny and long to join the rebellion.
I must admit, there is a struggle between the forces of good and of evil in the cutscenes of career mode where each day brings a new challenge. It’s just that it’s not the epic struggle that is the Star Wars trademark. I’m not hearing John Williams’ score playing as I imagine Nia Adea gazing whistfully at the twin suns of Tatooine. It’s just not there.
Fun, nice to look at, but not a blockbuster for me.
Still, at $4.99, it’s better than Phantom Menace.
Which Star Wars character did you always pretend to be? Were you the bartender? Leave me a comment below.
I’m looking at this in disbelief, mainly because I’m in Canada and can’t download movies from the US iTunes Store, but it would seem from the menu for 
